addicted to eating

i want to talk about food pleasure right now. time to explore the island of fun that is food. what salt and fat and carbs do to my tongue, can bring me to my knees. it's like i get lost. when i'm munching down on an apple fritter i can literally hear angels singing while i gently rock in heaven's swing. it's unbelievable. something about sugar and carbonation sliding down my throat sends me into soaring state of ecstasy.

i'm not proud of this. but it is a fact of my life. i used to go to john's market which is the cheapest place to score meat products. it's like "ross" for meat. anwyays, they had this sweet deal. for 2 bucks you could get a big sack of salami ends. like all the "tips" that nobody wanted. then i'd get a liter of diet coke. i'd get to my car, and i couldn't wait. i'd tear a hole in the bag. like squeezes my desperate fingers in the there and grab a salami clump. then i'd drive around hollywood with a fist full of salami, my arm around a diet coke, and my knees on the steering wheel. and all the while i'd think i was on the atkin's diet and losing weight.

i've also done this with a whole chicken from ralphs. i'd burn my fingers as i ripped the chicken apart, ate, and drove. then i'd walk into work like i hadn't just been at the "buffet" in my car.

peanut butter and jelly sanwiches are my curse. i lay it on thick. fat stratospheres of peanut butter and jelly. i nibble the crust first and save that sweet middle like a prize. i close my eyes when i bite into the middle. my mouth sinks into the sandwich like a drowning man gasping for air. it's sick. i eat it standing up and i eat it alone. just leave me alone with my food. let me be.

i use to pray for a fast metabolism just so i could eat more. i never could be aneroxic and i'm too wimpy for bulemia, so i was a fat kid. it was terrible. a nightmare. my choices always boiled down to i could either get laid, or eat what i wanted.

when people order food on a menu, they read the description to see if it sounds like it'll taste good. i read the description to see if it sounds like enough.

that McDonalds documentary, what was it called? Super Size Me? didn't phase me at all. my take on that whle thing was that the guy was kind of a food pussy. i mean he was dating that vegan, so you know he HAD to act like he didn't like McD's. after i saw that movie i ate a double quarter pounder with cheese and paid special atention to the cheese. i actually "peeled" off some of the cheese that was stuck to the box

mmmm mcgriddle my love, shall we dance tomorrow? or the western omelette sandwich from BK. or chicken strips from anywhere. astroburger's onion rings dipped in ranch. oh buttery hot biscuit from KFC, take me home...pizza...

shit...now i'm hungry.

i don't spellcheck.