First Day

this is my first blog. don't all applaud at once. i started this damn thing because i read some scrubby showbiz article. it talked about all the different stars that had their own blogs. guys like tom green and gals like rosie o'donnell. i'm not a huge rosie fan, but i went to her blog. nothing from nothing but it was hard for me to understand. it was like some halcyon induced poem from a "special" third grader writing on wet paper. maybe it's her version of "impressions." anyways, it kind of made me mad. here she was writing a blog. here i was reading another blog at work. that's probably why she's a big star and i'm a student affairs officer at ucla. anyways, i'm gonna throw it down indian reservation style. half-assed and half-baked. yep. the one thing that rosie's little column did teach me, spelling's not an issue. so i'm letting it hang out.

let's see. they elected a new pope. wow, that was quick. i wonder if those red-robed crazies pulled an all-nighter? it's kind of weird in this day and age for people to be watching a smoke stack. yeah, and he's german, that gave me an uh-oh moment. i'm not jewish or anything but when the italians and the germans get together sometimes the party is "off-the-hook." i'm just shocked that many people still care that much. then again, a lot of people are into mariah carey so what does that tell you?

i work in the front office of the ucla school of theater film and television. wow. i'm also a graduate student in the screenwriting program. man o man. is this a lot of work. i thought for sure when i showed up to hollywood that people would be throwing money at me. nope. they could care less. i've been sucking a whole lotta ass and still i'm a schlepp rock. actually, things could be worse. i wrote a short that stars maynard keenan, ed asner, and brad wilke from audio slave (some sticky icky guitar riffs) and rage against the machine. anyways. that was cool. MTV interviewed me and then never aired it. Boy did that make me look even mookier than I am. my poor sister, she's only 14, wanted to see my big teeth and fat lips on MTV and then like it fizzled out. they called me everyday wanting to know when it was coming on and like i just acted like i didn't know what they were talking about.

Sister: When are you going to be on tv?
me: What?
Sister: When are you going to be on tv?
me: i don't know what are you talking about.

aaaaah there's nothing like being a nobody in the entertainment industry. it's like having a mexican hat dance on your nuts. it hurts like hell at first, and soon the pain spreads to the rest of your body, and as you acclimate to the fiery sting you can notice the faintest trace of singing and dancing.

peace, in the middle east, and let's forgive paris hilton for being technology challenged: thin + white + inheritance = everything's hard.

c-