Friday, May 06, 2005

george lucas looks like colonel sanders

or maybe lucas ate colonel sanders...i don't know. the revews in variety and hollywood reporter said that the new star wars is good...we'll see.

i was just talking to some co-workers. one is a very thin white chick from the valley. she's so thin and white she makes michael jackson look ghetto. the other is a large sister. like huge. they were talking about proactive (which is some kind of acne medication that girls get throught the mail).

Big Sistah: my daughter doesn't use her proactive.

Skinny White Chick: why?

BS: If she doesn't use it, i'm not buying it for her.

SWC: that stuff is like forty bucks.

BS: when she woke up this morning she had like three (searching for the right word) PUSTULES on her face.

SWC: yep.

BS: she gets them at like her hair line (indicating so with thick sausage fingers) because black women use oil in their hair.

SWC: proactive works great. But you got to use it everyday. miss one day and it's pepperoni pizza face time.

that's what banging against my ear drum first thing on a friday morning. wow. then they started yapping about how you got have children when you're young. that way when it's time to retire they're out of the house. that sort of bummed me out because i'm already 30 and i blew that tidbit to smithereens.

my inner conflict made me blurt out : "i'm wating until i'm 60 to have kids. that way when they're in highschool i'll be dead. maybe i'll name them nurse one and nurse two. i'll eat they're babay food with. we can share moist wipes."

they both sneered at me in disgust. "how can you do that to your children?" i was kidding for christ sakes. yeeesh. women can't joke about kids. in fact, to most women, having babies is like a religion. the whole kid thing is a religion and each one of them becomes a priest if they have a child. i think that's why the christians talk about "baby jesus," to hook in the mothers. yep.

observations:

1) i hate it when gilrs with thick and curly hair recently shower. they're head oils and the conditioner like mingle in this moistened smell and like i can smell from yards away. i was in a coffeeshop and some woman's wet head was beating down the smell of fresh brewed coffee. it's totally invasive. a smell gets down deep inside of you.

2) panty hose is weird. when chicks hang it up in the shower it looks like dried cadaver slicess. when it's on a woman it looks like someone jammed cauliflower into a a hair net. it looks like manatee wrapped in mucus. it's disgusting.

3) why are all women's stuff "flesh-colored." that really freaks me out. their panty hose and underwear is colored, like "nude." which is a weird name to call it. it looks like mannequin skin or something. crash test dummy underwear. it totally takes the sex out of sex. women, only wear bright colored underwear. no more "nude" stuff.

i don't spell check. FREE PAT O'BRIAN.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Medicinebear, I thought you were talking about me, but I'm glad I wasn't the subject of your latest blog.

I finally had to bite the bullet and register, your comments/observations are too funny not to comment on. Keep em comin.

12:48 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

p.s. all black women do not use oil in their hair. I think it's disgusting.

12:49 PM

 
Anonymous dancing bear said...

theres blood on the saddle and bloooood on the ground.,,,,

9:59 PM

 
Blogger Ken Collins said...

If you feel brave enough, there is a tribute site www.thankyougeorge.com to George Lucas thanking him for 27 years of Star Wars.

6:41 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hola Osito de Medicina....eres muy chistoso...por poco no llego al baƱo de tanto que me hiciste reir..oye porque no escribes un blog de Ken Collins...alguien que conoce el sitio de tributo de George Lucas derserves to be the subject of one of your blogs...a lil Spanglish for you....by the way that movie was terrible...thumbs way down! Sincerely, Pielmorena

4:14 PM

 

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