Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Hurricanes are like Drunk Uncles

Will the real slim shady please stand up!

John Mark Karr:

What’s up with Dr. McCreepy? He might not have killed Jon Benet but that MOFO guilty. He guilty of somthin’. Put him under the jail.

What did the Thai Customs officers think he was going to Thailand for? To teach English? Yeah, maybe phrases like, “Only society says it’s wrong.” “Don’t cry, you’re making uncle Mark feel bad. “Drink this, it’s got fairy magic in it.” What a sick-o!

I think Mel Gibson is behind it. He hired Creep-o creep man to come out and take the spotlight off of his anti-Semitic entitled drunk-rage.

By the way, forget the pedophile, get a load of those creepy pants. Ewwwwwww.


I’m sick and tired of Hurricanes. I have Hurricane Desensitization Disorder. New Orleans and the Tsunami used up all my Weather-Death Sympathy. They should dig up all of Saddam's Palace Bunkers and bury them in Weather Disaster Prone areas as shelters.

Besides, I can never read those damn weather maps—way too much going on.

Can we also stop naming them? It sounds like the Drunk Uncle is coming to visit. Alright kids, Uncle Ernesto is coming in a couple of days, lock the doors and hide under the bed. Most of these hurricanes are illegal immigrants anyways, “Ernesto?” We should get the border guards to deport these Hurricanes, or at least give them a temporary ID.

Iranian President VS American President

Scene from Iranian President doing Jesus Christ Superstar

Ok, ok, if the Iranian President wants to challenge our president to a debate, can he at least wait until the next election? Dang.

Scene from Prez Bush's portrayal of "Clyde" in Every Which Way but Loose


Iranian President finishes speaking, there is applause. The crowd looks at President Bush, awaiting a response.

President Bush: When will the interpreter translate the Iranian President’s questions?

Moderator: Uhm…Mr. Bush, the Iranian President was speaking English.

President Bush: He was…Oh…Of course he was…Heh heheheheh, well, that’s humor for you. In Texas we call dumb mistakes God’s little jokes. Heheheheh. But now you understand why illegal immigration is an important topic. Whew! Karl I dodged one! Say, where can a fella get a Dos Equis around here, the hillbilly heroin is giving me cotton mouth…


The Emmys suck. Who cares? The Emmy’s are the orphan Annies of the award shows. Frizzy, loud, sappy and basically boring. Just like the Grammys, people win and you didn’t even know they were competing. Can we please get back to some real TV like Maximum Extreme Challenge. Little Asian people fall down go boom! Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

Medicine Bear


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