Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Michael Jackson vs. Saddam Hussein

Ever since Michael Jackson bailed on the United States because we think it's weird to have slumber parties with young, cancer-laden boys, Michael decided the Middle East may be a place that can tolerate his kind of fun? Why not, with guys like Saddam Hussein and the Bin Ladens, it makes sense. Bahrain understands the "natural" affection between man and boy. Perhaps if Michael Jackson had lived in the Middle East he would have been a Dictator, or perhaps if Saddam lived in the US, he could have been an eccentric pop star. Does Michael Jackson compare with Saddam Hussein? Painstaking research shows they have a lot in common:

The King of Pop VS. Mustachioed Dictator
"clash of the weird power-crazed, narsiccistic fuckers"

SADDAM: Many women in his country wear burkas
MICHAEL: Has often worn a burka

BOTH like fedoras

BOTH: have many lookelikes
BOTH: have secret chambers at their compounds
MICHAEL: Best known hit, Thriller
SADDAM: Best known hit, a whole Kurdish village

BOTH wear uniforms but neither has been enlisted in any army

MICHAEL: Known as the king of pop
SADDAM: Known as the one who confronts

BOTH: felt disrespected after they were strip searched.

MICHAEL: In 1991 made an album known as “Dangerous”
SADDAM: In 1991 made known as “Dangerous” by George Bush Sr.

BOTH: Had trials in 2005 was marked by sensational testimony.
BOTH: had abusive fathers.

SADDAM: Came into his own power in 1979
MICHAEL: Came into power in 1982

SADDAM: Set oil fields on fire in an attempt to escape the US
MICHAEL: Oils in his hair set on fire in a Pepsi commercial

BOTH like to be photographed with children

SADDAM: Invaded Kuwait
MICHAEL: Invaded Bahrain
BOTH: Despite their dispicable reputations, still retain blind, crazy, devoted fans, willing to do anything.
SADDAM: Born in the village of Al-Awja
MICHAEL: Born in the village of Gary, Indiana
SADDAM: Was big in the Ba’Ath Party.
MICHAEL: Was big in Bubble Bath Parties
SADDAM: Thousands of pictures and statues of him were erected all over Iraq
MICHAEL: Thousands of pictures and statues of him were erected all over Neverland
BOTH: will not be made father of the year, anytime soon.

I don't spellcheck


Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're soooooo funny!

7:39 PM

Blogger Galt1138 said...

This is one of your best. F'ing hilarious!

4:34 PM


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